trying to understand....

what it is that i love so much here....i have been looking around trying to understand it, as i prepare to show my friends around. i am trying to see it through their eyes....

i asked my mama, what she thought i saw. she asked if there was still trash on the streets? i am able to say with authority, that the answer is a BIG yes. so, it´s not because it is so clean...she asked if places are still chaotic? and again, without thinking i can say yes....so, it´s not for it´s tranquil atmosphere.....is it because my spanish is better and i can understand what it is going on around me? nope.....that´s definitely not it.

but i think in some crazy way that is what i love so much. i love that people have a discussion about which way to go in the car. which taxi to call and why. how the restaurant cooks the food. i love it that the people of the country are so proud in so many ways of their food, their traditions, and that people love to come to their country. i love how obvious the men can be with their wicked ways....whether they are straight out asking me if i will marry them for american status, to how they can stop and stare right at you as you pass them. no wondering if they think you are attractive. no wondering how they feel about much. when they are happy they are loud and rambunctious, when they are angry they are loud and rambunctious.

i think they epitomize the fuego side of me. and yet, they are also the dulce side of me when it comes to certain manners and customs.

i thank everyone who is at home in vermont, helping to keep my kid, my dog, my house and my car all together while i am gone. i have always known how lucky i am, but i am being reminded every day now, how truly lucky i am.

tonight, going with some people from school for some dancing. i am pretty tired, but i won´t miss out on a little night life....i am going home to do my homework and to take a little nap....