where do i fit in?

so, yesterday i found myself in tears...i am caught. are my eyes bigger than my stomach? do i want more than i can actually handle? is that the lesson of my life? do i want to crave adventure, but in reality shy away from it all? when sad, this is what i think....however, i think in reality i either chew off a lot close to home or get myself to another place and then need help...but, do it all?

yesterday, at 3:15 i was back at my house...i made a few calls, did my homework, checked into art studios and galleries and then was alone for the rest of the day....if i slept more last night than usual, was it because i was exhausted, bored or depressed?

no dancing...i need to move.

no friends...i need friends.

no daughter...i need my daughter.

focus...i am here to work on my spanish. i am here to remember who i want to become....not sure what that is right now, but becoming it, none the less.

my daughter called me after school yesterday...and i have never been so happy! she handled so many things yesterday alone, and it was just day 1! i am so proud of her, and she had a sense of humor about it all. maybe she will grow more during this time than i will!

so, where do i fit in? my mama told me yesterday on the phone, that she was sure i would have the group of students organized to do things.....but i am not so sure....i told my teacher today that i was going to make new friends today, but not so sure it is going to work....i want to get out and see the country...not only go to the calmado for beers...some of that, but more...and until i have more spanish i can not fit in with the dominicans.

annoying things:

1. mosquito net over my bed

2. distance between house and school

3. no friends

4. no organized school activities (the organizer is on vacation this week!!!)

5. no dancing yet

6. my showers are so freezing that i can not put my whole body in at once....or my heart would stop beating!

good things:

1. lunch...salmon, morro y papas con agua por 95 pesos...about 3.00!

2. my teacher is delightful

3. it is 80+ degrees

4. my daughter called

5. i used my exercise tube